The Last State

This amuses:

The group is one of several in Hawaii that reject statehood and seek to return to the constitutional monarchy that effectively ended in 1893 when a group of politicians, businessmen and sugar planters — aided by the U.S. minister to Hawaii — overthrew the kingdom’s government.

The monarchist groups say that the kingdom was overthrown and annexed into the United States illegally.

Said politicians and businessmen probably wanted an environment that was conducive to, y’know, actual politics and business instead of cutting into profit margins fending off pirates left and right.

What think your fate would be in today’s world, my friends, should you succeed in secession (which you won’t)?  That’s right, you’d be the most popular girl at the party.  You’d have your choice of large-boned Slavic types or wiry Oriental swains.

And when the inevitable GHB goes into your Mai-Tai, what would you do then?  Throw pineapples?  Re-target Kilauea and blow?  No, you’d go quietly.  And you wouldn’t even file a police report in the morning.

So good luck with that whole return-to-the-monarchy thing.  You’ll need it.

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6 Responses to “The Last State”

  1. Robert Says:
    May 1st, 2008

    Well dammit, I find this inspiring! My ancestors, the good Saxons who re-civilized Britain, were illegally, unlawfully and brutally overthrown by imperialistic white people from France in 1066; and as far as I know they never had a plebiscite about it, either. How long ago it was does not matter, it was wrong then, it is wrong now and I demand reparations and the restoration of my monarchy! I’m almost certain that I’m descended from someone related to someone who was in the line of succession, so if called upon I’m prepared to leave my comfy middle-calss American lifestyle and bear the burden of service when the legitimate Royal Family is restored. The Invader must be removed from our beautiful Isle!

    ReplyReply
  2. Hazel Stone Says:
    May 1st, 2008

    More power to you, Your Majesty.

    ReplyReply
  3. Madrocketscientist Says:
    May 1st, 2008

    What think your fate would be in today’s world, my friends, should you succeed in secession (which you won’t)? That’s right, you’d be the most popular girl at the party. You’d have your choice of large-boned Slavic types or wiry Oriental swains.

    And when the inevitable GHB goes into your Mai-Tai, what would you do then? Throw pineapples? Re-target Kilauea and blow? No, you’d go quietly. And you wouldn’t even file a police report in the morning.

    The sad fact is, even if they gained independance, we’d protect them because:

    A) Pearl Harbor
    B) They are in an important strategic location that we certainly are NOT going to allow to fall into the hands of anyone else.

    Even if we had it in us to toss the islands to the wolves, we wouldn’t. And since they are so important to our Pacific Naval Presence, we will say sorry, those guys were bad, but nope, we stole these islands fair and square, we is keeping them, so piss off.

    ReplyReply
  4. Hazel Stone Says:
    May 1st, 2008

    Yeah, that’s what I said. :)

    >>should you succeed in secession (which you won’t)

    I just used less words.

    ReplyReply
  5. MadRocketScientist Says:
    May 1st, 2008

    :-P

    ReplyReply
  6. MJSNEAD Says:
    May 1st, 2008

    Perhaps Hawaiians should be reminded they would be speaking Japanese if not for the U.S.

    ReplyReply

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