Come and Get Them Yourself, Sweetie

I am in severe danger of losing my sh*t here, people. It seems I went to sleep in the United States and woke up somewhere in the EU:

A crackdown on guns is under way in the District. Police are asking residents to submit to voluntary searches in exchange for amnesty under the District’s gun ban.

The program is starting in the Washington Highlands neighborhood of southeast Washington on Monday and will later expand to other neighborhoods.

Officers will go door to door asking residents for permission to search their homes.

Police Chief Cathy L. Lanier said the “safe homes initiative” is aimed at residents who want to cooperate with police. She gave the example of parents or grandparents who know or suspect their children have guns in the home.

If weapons are recovered, they will be tested and destroyed if they are not found to be linked to any other crimes.

Just who in the bloody hell does this fascist bitch think she is? Someone in danger of losing a bit of her much-coveted power, eh. This sort of thing is unacceptable in a FREE country, is it not?

Let’s get this cow into a new job, shall we…junior fry cook at McDonald’s sounds about her speed.

(Clarification:  This braindead plan was announced March 12, and was put into action today.)

Share

Tags: , , ,

Help Support SimonJester.info!

15 Responses to “Come and Get Them Yourself, Sweetie”

  1. Madrocketscientist Says:
    March 24th, 2008

    And what happens if you refuse to submit to this voluntary search, I wonder?

    ReplyReply
  2. Mike Rossiter Says:
    March 24th, 2008

    That would probable cause, of course.

    Fascists.

    ReplyReply
  3. knight_308 Says:
    March 24th, 2008

    Methinks they’re running scared…

    ReplyReply
  4. Nate Says:
    March 24th, 2008

    Yep….there trying to be “pro-active” in removing weapons because the district hand gun ban will likely be struck down.

    Examples of parents or grandparents who suspect…wtf?!?! They want family to rat their own children out?

    yeah….this beast is scary…they need to toss her out on her ass.

    ReplyReply
  5. Nate Says:
    March 24th, 2008

    ugh…THEY’RE not “there.” Please excuse my bad spelling and complete disregard for editing.

    ReplyReply
  6. Craig Says:
    March 24th, 2008

    And this a major reason why I wanted to go ahead and pull the trigger(I’m sorry i can’t help it) on a acquiring protection now.

    You just never know in this country anymore.

    I bought the Walther by the way. Thanks to all who gave suggestions.

    I put about a hundred-fifty rounds through it this weekend. Smooth and accurate. Well I could be more accurate but that’s not the gun’s fault. As someone said; practice, practice , practice.

    ReplyReply
  7. Mycroft Holmes Says:
    March 24th, 2008

    This is pretty much exactly the sort of thing that is going to make someone start shooting.

    Also, exactly the sort of thing some sunlight will disinfect.

    Officer: “May we come in and look for guns, sir?”
    Sir: “No.”
    Officer: “Don’t worry. We’re offering amnesty for anything we might find as a result of this search. You won’t get in trouble.”
    Sir: “Well, in that case, hell no.”
    Officer: “Listen, buddy. All we want is to make this neighborhood safer. Don’t you want that?”
    Sir: “When you put it that way, let me see a warrant.”
    Officer: “That won’t be necessary, if you’ll just give us–”
    Sir: “A warrant and your names for the inevitable lawsuit I’ll be filing against the District for violating my 2nd and 4th amendment rights.”
    Officer: “All right, pal. Have it your way. We’ll just stand here and wait while someone delivers a warrant from downtown. I know a really friendly judge.”
    Sir: “You wait out here. I’ll be inside, making phone calls. Knock when that warrant comes. Bye.”

    I know a real cop wouldn’t let the situation get away from him like that. Let me have my fantasies.

    ReplyReply
  8. Drew458 Says:
    March 24th, 2008

    If saying NO could be seen as probably cause, then the best response would be to not answer the door. Get one of those peephole things ASAP.

    There is a small possibility the DC cops have good motives at heart. Small. But possible. They’re trying to play Responsible Dad in an area where there are very very few actual daddys around.

    ReplyReply
  9. MadRocketScientist Says:
    March 24th, 2008

    I wonder, the rules say tht handgun violations will be forgiven, but what if you are a resident who thinks the long gun rules are stupid and you keep your loaded shotgun or lever action rifle by your bed.

    I wonder if those violations will be forgiven?

    Also, I bet the statistics on forgiven violations will be kept as proof for some future legal defense should the DC ban be shot down.

    Sorry, my evil despotic brain is working overtime now.

    ReplyReply
  10. Robb Allen Says:
    March 24th, 2008

    If I were a resident in those parts, I’d have one of these.

    Maybe 2, one for the back door. Just in case.

    ReplyReply
  11. MadRocketScientist Says:
    March 25th, 2008

    I’d so have one those if my wife wouldn’t give me the Ol’ Hairy Eyeball for the sin of dressing out her porch with one.

    ReplyReply
  12. Barry Says:
    March 25th, 2008

    DC’s not a free country. The analogy of the frog in the pot of water that gets boiled and likes it applies here.

    Even if Heller is decided right, DC will continue to legislate against guns. Zoning laws that make it impossible to buy a gun in DC, licensing restrictions so arcane no one can figure them out, etc. Heller won’t be the end of DC’s war on the Constitution and the 2nd A.

    I say this as a person who was born and raised in the DC suburbs (Montgomery County). DC is a governmental basket case. Granting home rule was a disaster. DC politics and gov’t are as crooked as any in the US- Chicago, New Jersey, you name it.

    ReplyReply
  13. Robb Allen Says:
    March 25th, 2008

    Hmmmmm. Looks like this isn’t going over as smoothly as the masters have planned.

    This is heartening news, for sure!

    ReplyReply
  14. MadRocketScientist Says:
    March 25th, 2008

    I think what the police forget is that no one trusts the police to stay on target. What happens if they come in and search for guns, and see my bucket of ears? I mean, I know collecting human ears is probably suspicious, but I like ears and while I might not get arrested if they find my ears while looking for my guns, I bet I’d become a person of interest for something or other.

    PS I don’t collect ears.

    Yet
    ;-)

    ReplyReply
  15. Barry Says:
    March 25th, 2008

Leave a Reply

Support Us

Donate Through Paypal
Buy From Amazon

Display It

Link to SimonJester.info
(right click - save as)

Wear It

Misbehave in style, and get your own Simon Jester gear for Tea Parties or other event:
I Aim to Misbehave

Show Us

Email us your pictures of Simon Jester's appearances at Tea Parties, town hall meetings, wherever he pops up.

Gallery

DSC_0034.jpg wyblog.jpg n674518740_1662492_3029190.jpg DSC_0054.jpg DSC_0102.jpg DSC_0031.jpg dsc_0001.jpg DSC_0023.jpg DSC_0093.jpg DSC_0033.jpg DSC_0020.jpg DSC_0083.jpg

Recent Comments



Subscribe via RSS